With the intent of expanding what one my friends called "a midnight philosophy blast", I was just thinking about how I could explain more thoroughly what I meant saying I'd rather discourage letting anyone (especially children) think they are above average.
You know, I guess there are loving parents with lucky children whose self-confidence is boosted on a daily basis through comments on how good they (children) are, how they (parents) feel so lucky for having that specific kid as a child, what a great pupil / student they (children) make and no one else could compare...
As well as this, I do guess there are rough parents with pitiful children whose self-confidence is blown up on a daily basis through comments on how bad they (children) are, how they (parents) feel disgraced because of such a useless presence at home, how poorly they (children) perform at school / college whereas that other pupil / student is so good...
And then, I guess some of those lucky children, whose parents are loving and caring, will eventually succeed in their lives. With so much self-confidence and support, they will certainly achieve anything they'd like to.
As well as I guess some of those pitiful children, whose parents bring them up as they were shooting Full Metal Jacket at their very home every single day, will achieve much less than what they might have been supposed to because their self-confidence is low and they lack the necessary support.
On the other hand, I do also guess that some of the above-mentioned, pitiful children will make a masterpiece out of their unlucky childhood. With all that screaming and yelling and having insults thrown up at them every single day, I suppose they'd do anything they could to prove those yellers wrong.
And what about the lucky children? Who should they prove wrong? Who should they blame for the yelling and the throwing up of insults? There's nobody to blame. Nobody to fight. There's just support. And with support comes expectation. And how would they deal with disappointment? How would they handle poor performances? Is their self-confidence so high that they can take any let-down the right way and make a masterpiece out of it, given their life is allegedly a masterpiece already?
Well, as for my personal experience, I'm a member of the "loving parents-lucky children" group. And I was even luckier, if possible, given that the disappointment/expectation part was never mentioned, as if it didn't even exist. It was as if I could never, ever, disappoint anybody. It was as if I could never, ever, not meet someone's expectations.
But as in the yin and yang thing, I also guess we all need a balance between "everything is so perfect/you couldn't do better" and "look at what a disaster of a person you are", so I did gain my balance, but perhaps in an unhealthy way. I set myself to be my own yeller. I tried my best to make a Full-Metal-Jacket-everyday-shooting out of my life. And, as a result, I got my own judge, my own rough parent, the one I was supposed to prove wrong. Funny thing is, how could you possibly fight against yourself? If the yeller is you, how are you supposed to prove yourself wrong? There'll always be that sullen voice in your head telling you to give up, to stop trying, to not even dare think you could make it. And, even worse, to tell you there'll always come a time when you won't be successful and others will overcome you and you'll just make a fool of yourself. That devilish voice singing to you lullabies, which are quite different from nursery rhymes. This voice's lullabies' lyrics, and, remember, it's your personal yeller's voice, not an actual rough parent's, are far from providing comfort of any kind. They will tell you about what a failure you are even if you fail just once. They'll tell you that if you make a mistake there'll be no turning back. They'll tell you that if you fail once, you've failed forever. They'll tell you you'll never make it to the end. They'll tell you that you're worth nothing, that even Jon Snow knows better than you do. They'll tell you that all those supporting and boosting your self-confidence are liars, that you'd better not listen to them 'cause they know nothing (more nothing that you and Jon Snow put together).
How are you supposed to fight back against such voices? It's your own voice. There's no fighting back. It's a CD 50 challenge and you're just a simple 4 LVL Monk. Holy cow, no way.
So, no matter how loving or rough your parents are; no matter how lucky or pitiful a kid you are; those voices in your head are the worst (and hardest-to-defeat) enemy you could find. And, as per what I have learnt by far, you can try as hard as you can, but you'll never defeat it completely.
Some could say: try harder. Yet, that is not what I say to that voice today. Maybe tomorrow. But not today.
